If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize