Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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