my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize