dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
