it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
