Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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