I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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