Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
