Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
