Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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