Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
