Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize