I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
