Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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