I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
