Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
