Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
