I saw his package. It spoke to me.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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