hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize