worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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