So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
