I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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