He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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