The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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