when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
