a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
please come you make the beer taste better
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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