But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
