Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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