your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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