This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
