Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
