Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
