I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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