I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
