i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
