Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
