Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
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Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
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She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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