I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize