I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
