i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
