i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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