I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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