Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
