went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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