She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
