I can tuck mytits in my pants
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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