The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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