We're like a lot better than the average bears
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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