He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
