Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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