Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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