I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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