I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
