Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You are a booty call, not a friend.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
