he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
