You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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