Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
