I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
