My friends, they love my intelligence
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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