maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize