I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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