I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
