put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
