your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Randomize
