Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
