you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
