3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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